i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
