she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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