your parents love me but you hate me
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
