And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
