What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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