The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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