i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
My penis needs a shock collar
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
