I hate all girls vehemently.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
