smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
