i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
