and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
organizing the empties. That sober.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
