I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
