Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
