white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
