ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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