I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize