Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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