i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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