Buhtt sex?
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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