OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
