they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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