Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
