But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
