did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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