I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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