He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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