This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
