My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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