but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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