Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
This baby is an asshole
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i think im in europe. pls send help
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