hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
