Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
