Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
