ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
