she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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