Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
