he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
God I need to hump something, right now.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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