i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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