my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
