Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
