You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
and you fell through a lawn chair
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
