Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Dick very happy bro
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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