singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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