So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
