So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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