Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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