So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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