that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
