woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
