his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
