Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Randomize
