Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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