No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
