Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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