if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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