went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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