4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
